incubus gf

jame7t:

thewerman100:

eduards-stuff:

normal-horoscopes:

jame7t:

chases you around the cathedral with an executioner’s axe but we’re both giggling and laughing and frolicking then I GET you

[I resurrect after a few seconds and we immediately go back to giggling and chortling and chasing]

Okay okay okay. But in turkey if i remember correctly this was a thing in very old turkey

You could escape a death sentence if you can beat the garderner at a chase through the gardern and be the first to touch the execution block.

But heres the thing the gardener is this huge incredibly tall dude who has incredibly huge muscles and knows all the shortcuts

So youd either be really fast or really lucky to not get caughy and escape your execution.!!

im sorry but who is The Gardener

Well he’s from turkey.

(via romanceyourdemons)

fairyfalling:

I need someone to remove my spine and stretch it out like a bendy straw before putting it back.

(via beetlelesbian)

nonetoon:

nonetoon:

nonetoon:

Today I encountered a white and red lamp of a saint that said “Ride Or Die Bitch” on the halo and I’m basically gonna think about it for the rest of my life now

Went back to get a pic and on second viewing I think it’s of the Virgin Mary but idk I’m not an expert on these things

I think it’s these two dudes that really make it for me

(via beetlelesbian)

jewish-harley-quinn:

I love furries, marijuana, autism, schizophrenia, abortion, vandalism, shoplifting, Molotov cocktails, free healthcare, adderall, and gay sex

(via beetlelesbian)

liquidstar:

liquidstar:

liquidstar:

Thank god finally

Why is every single one of you tagging this saying “oh just like horseshoe crabs” why the hell do you all know how horseshoe crabs mate off the top of your heads?

What the fuck do you mean “because of the lesbian horseshoe crabs”

(via poisoncherrywine)

theocseason4:

anyways In a Dream You Saw a Way to Survive and You Were Full of Joy

(via thatrandombatgurl)

bilover:

if i bring a book someplace it doesn’t necessarily mean i want to read it mayb i just want to take her own a walk. Get her some fresh air and a change of scenery

(via xxicarusxx)

slcpunkmoved:

men love being pinned up against walls by other men it makes them feel masculine it’s the same as going fishing

(via orphanage-body)

boywizard-moved:

boywizard-moved:

boywizard-moved:

mutuals to go to the aquarium with

mutuals to hold hands with at the aquarium and whenever we see a weird looking fish we point at it and say “thats you”

recognition of love through being told you look like a slightly weird fish

(via xxicarusxx)

Anonymous asked:

kris give me a cig

kristina100000:

radioheadpussy:

they should give you a paid leave if you’re in love

(via disasterfag)

cookie-sheet-toboggan:

ex-electron-blue:

lesbiankisses:

prisonhannibal:

12 year old lesbians are masters of mental gymnastics. “I wish I was a lesbian so I could date women and didn’t have to date men, sadly I’m straight but i really wish i could date women”

When I was 12 I was talking to a friend about boys or whatever and I said, out loud and with compete confidence, “I think I would make a good lesbian. Like, I’m not one, I like boys, but if I was a lesbian, I think I would be really good at it.”

I remember being around that age and saying, “Boys are so lucky, they get to date girls. But we have to date boys (derogatory). That’s so unfair.”

(via beetlelesbian)

biggaybunny:

Pronouns? Yeah I gots all the pronouns you could want. Bootleg? No, no, you’ve got it all wrong. They just, uh, fell off the back of a truck. Now, can I interest you in a she/sher? Or how about a nice he/hee? That one’s gonna get real popular, lemme tell you what. What? I’m telling you, these are genuine articles of speech. Look kid, I don’t normally do this, but you buy a set of, uh, lemme see… not those… you/youse, I’ll throw in another pair free. I dunno, for your dog or something. You ever think about your dog’s pronouns? I thought not. Cash only.

(via beetlelesbian)

warlordfelwinter:

there’s a tortoise at work and he’s 30 years old and I love that he’s 30 years old because I can look at this animal that is 3 years older than me and go “does the man want his appy slices??” and he hustles over cause the man do want his appy slices

(via punkrockgrantaire)

halobats:

this has reduced me to tears

(via necromanticfemme)